This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
