Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
