Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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