Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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