So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Its about making memories worth repressing
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
