I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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