i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
