dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
