I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I pour the whiskey from now on
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
