My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
