you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
