Where is the hickey?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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