OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
