Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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