Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
