dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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