also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
