the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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