You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
