I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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