I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
