Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
