You work out of a Hotel?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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