I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
