I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
