I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
wow bdsm is so cute
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
