She went from zero to smokin in five shots
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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