I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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