he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
