I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
