She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
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