New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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