I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
