i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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