Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize