You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Floor bacon is actually really good
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize