Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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