And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
