saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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