"it" just moved
Need sex. Gaining weight.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize