Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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