i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Randomize
