dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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