But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
