what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
