I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize