Can i not drive my cunt home
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
