So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
