why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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