i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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This is my gift to your gina
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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