I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
