I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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