they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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