This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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