You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
