But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
